Dee

I’m celebrating Dee. It’s her birthday, and I’m so grateful for all the years that she has been my partner, grateful for all the gifts that I’ve received. I am remembering our early days. I don’t remember now why we were driving near Bear Mountain, past the Japanese restaurant, high up on a mountain, that you can see from the highway. This time we drove up, late afternoon, but still a long wait for a table. “Enjoy the grounds,” they suggested. We walked around the Japanese gardens, found a bench. Dee suggested we meditate. I’d been collecting Zen books for years. “Why not?” I lasted only a couple of minutes. Dee continued sitting while I meandered.

It wasn’t long after that I saw Dee throwing the pennies. She was consulting the I Ching. I laughed. That sort of magic was far outside my comfort zone. A few weeks later, I came across the I Ching in a bookstore and stunned myself by buying it. When I got home, I had to call Dee to find out how to throw the pennies. The Sage of the I Ching taught me to meditate. Dee bought me my first meditation cushion. More than thirty years later, I’m still sitting on it.

Dee supported and encouraged me on my way to Zen, even tried to join me in Zen, but it wasn’t her path. She found her way with the Self-Realization Fellowship. Over the years I’ve wondered sometimes how things might have been if we shared a spiritual practice. In moments, there were surely regrets that we weren’t on the same path; but as the years have passed, I’ve found found myself appreciating the beauty in our differences. We have so much in common – everything from careers to musical tastes – but the richness of the differences in childhood and culture which we bring to the relationship may have been more important. Could anyone who was not so different from me have been so important in catalyzing my spiritual journey? Maybe it is always the differences which make the difference.