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IN THE BARDO


No News is Good News
Maybe I got the idea first from Andrew Weil . He called it a “news fast.” He was describing an aspect of my sesshin experience. One of...


Saying “No” to Bernie
Bernie had a way of creating conflicts with family obligations. Maybe that was something he inherited from Maezumi Roshi : Zen before...


The Force of Habit
Beginning Zen students are often told to silence the mind. It’s a misleading instruction. As Bernie used to say, “The brain secretes...


The Caretaker’s Assistant
Compassion was never my strong suit. During my Jukai ceremony in which I publicly took refuge in the Three Treasures of the Buddha,...


A Brave Space
The American psychologist, Abraham Maslow, famous for his “hierarchy of needs,” placed safety near the top of his pyramid. We’re all...


Time: Flying or Dragging?
It’s the beginning of summer, the fateful moment when the days begin getting shorter. I exaggerate my dread. But I can’t believe this...


Just say, “No”
Matthew was working on the rhinoceros fan, had been struggling with it for weeks. I wasn’t much help. It’s one of those koans in the...


My Zen Roots
Yesterday was Father’s Day. I’m thinking about my dad. My Zen practice is rooted in my childhood, and, as far as I can see, there was no...


Double Vision
I was in a strange place: my cardiologist didn’t want to see me for six months. My audiologist didn’t want to see me for three. I wasn’t...


Am I being paranoid?
I came to Zen with my Adlerian analysis under my belt and with years of training in psychoanalytic therapy. I had these tools for dealing...


Why Auschwitz?
Auschwitz, the Nazi death camp, was never on my list of go-to places. There were plenty of other places I was hoping to visit. And yet, I...


Toxic Friendships: A Third Alternative
We talked about two alternatives, dive deeper or walk away . There’s a third. I call this the lesson of the beard. I grew my first...


Toxic Friendships: Walk Away
We’ve talked about the first step, admitting to yourself that you’re involved in a toxic relationship and you’re suffering. You know...


Toxic Friendships: Dive Deeper
Do you know them when you see them? Do you believe it when you feel it? When you do, it’s a breakthrough moment. Then you can begin to do...


What should we talk about?
If you are reading this blog, you’re important to me. What are you interested in? When you come to a new blog post, what are you hoping...


If you fail, I fail
This morning, because I’m part of a Zen teacher email group, I received a missive from a Dharma sister, a wonderful teacher from whom...


The Buddha of the Small Following
I have always wanted acclaim. I have always imagined the applause. What a craving. Craving is Greed. The Buddha warned us. Greed can...


Me and My Body
I get together with old friends to share a meal – I try to see each one at least once a month – or if they live too far away, to talk on...


Talking the Talk
It took me a long while to make two of my Zen students “Dharma Holders.” That designation means that I think they’re on the path to...


Remembering Jishu
Bernie talked all the time about Indra’s Net, the Buddhist representation of the interconnectedness of all things. It was a metaphor for...


The Elder Factor
What’s an elder? “Elder” wasn’t in my vocabulary until Bernie made Peter Matthiessen and Bob Lee “Zen Peacemaker elders.” He used 80 as...


Please Turn Your Cameras On
I have been telling people for years, when I talk about the Three Treasures, that Sangha is not my strong suit. In those moments, I am...


The Balancing Act
The original Buddhist teacher, Shakyamuni, called it the middle way, to steer a course to peace by avoiding extremes. My teacher, Bernie...


Zen Mothers
I had initially thought that I might hold this blog back until Mother’s Day. I was horrified – as soon as I came upon them – by the...


Survivor’s Guilt
I spent 12 years as founding president of Integration Charter Schools, building a network of schools which provided opportunities for the...


Unforgiving Buddha
It took me a while to become the Unforgiving Buddha. It wasn’t easy. I was in Jishu ’s precept class, working with non-anger, and my...


Succession Screw-Ups
Succession is a big deal in Zen and in most organizations. Recently, I acknowledged at lunch with Theresa and Ron that I had made...


To Tell the Truth
How do you tell the truth? How do I tell the truth? I’ve been working on this question a long time. Francine Prose quotes Hemingway’s...


Birthdays
It bothers me that I still can’t remember my mom’s birthdate. I don’t have any childhood memories of her birthdays. What I remember from...


Going Gray
Two years ago, filling out my passport renewal application, likely for the last time, I stumbled on my height. I’ve been getting shorter...


Lifelong Learning
When I invited the teachers who’d told me that they’d already found their dream job to put down on paper what it was that made our...


Zazen
Listening to Bernie and Genpo talking about what, if any, were the absolutely essential ingredients of Zen, it disturbed me when they...


Don't Forget Me
I am listening to a decade-old conversation between Bernie and Genpo , their reflection on forty years of friendship and Zen practice. I...


“I’ve Got It”
It has never been easy for me to talk about kensho, the big “I’ve Got It,” the direct experience of the oneness of life without at least...


Succession
“When the student is ready, the teacher will come.” I have been intrigued for years by the notion that when the teacher is ready, the...


Building Spiritual Muscle
Last week, Dr. Gala put in my third and fourth stents, nine months after he’d done the first two. He’d expected to do them last spring,...


No Merit
The account of Bodhidharma ’s meeting with Emperor Wu, the first case in The Blue Cliff Record , is one of those koans to which I return...


Working With Koans
When I have talked about koan study, I have often noted how little instruction I received in how to actually work with a koan. The advice...


Rewriting
It’s almost two years now since I ventured back into fiction writing. In high school, I fancied myself a fiction writer. In college...


Enlightenment Day
It has been 52 years since my father passed, three days after his birthday, in 1972. I had just turned 30. His birthday, December 8, was...


Practicing Zazen
We are told as beginning Zen students to notice our thoughts and let them go. As a beginning Zen teacher, I repeated that instruction. It...


Imagining ZCLA
The Zen Center of Los Angeles occupies a special place in the history of American Zen and a very special place in my Zen iconography. It...


Creations are Numberless
Even before I began to sit regularly, I was attracted by the image of the Bodhisattva, the heroic – to me -- Zen figure who defers his...


Oh, Alice
On the end table in Vinnie’s waiting room, opened, waiting for me was a magazine story about Alice Munro. The evening before, eating a...


Bernie & Gutei
There are koans that I keep returning to. Gutei’s one-finger Zen is one. Maybe it is wasted on most students in our lineage because we...


Manresa
Only about once in 7 years does September 10 occur on a Tuesday. This was one of those years, the 22nd anniversary of the second coming...


Attachment
So much of Zen practice is about working with our attachments. I’d caught a glimpse of the danger of attachments before I got to Zen. My...


Prajna
Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva, doing deep Prajna Paramita, perceived the emptiness of all five conditions and was freed from pain. With...


Atonement
Bernie taught me atonement. It was one of his many gifts to me. The first time I heard him talk about atonement as “being at one with,”...


Disrobing
Michael O’Keefe wrote a beautiful piece on disrobing for Tricycle . Zen monks get their robes during Tokudo, the first step on the path...


Oh, Dirk.
In Zen funerals, we talk directly to the departed. I am at a loss for words. I am hoping that words will come. I am picturing you....


Bringing to the Societal Table Those Who Have Been Excluded
This has been the expression of my vow since I found the words in Bernie’s Instructions to the Cook. “Bringing to the societal table...


Visionary Leadership
This has to be the Zen practice. I love the story of the Golden City which the Buddha tells in the Lotus Sutra. It has inspired me. It is...


Magic
Catching the magic is sometimes not so easy. Stumbling into the magic of success is not something to be taken for granted. It has always...


What is Social Action?
The selflessness of social action is not self-neglect just as self-care is not self-neglect. There are four phrases that come to mind,...


No.
What is my “No!” When do I shout it? Do I really shout? “No!” Jesse and Theresa Peterford first met at ICS. Theresa, star teacher, chief...


Infinite Onion
Delusions are inexhaustible, I vow to transform them. When I was doing koan practice with Jishu, very briefly in the last year of her...


Infinite Circle
We were serving special needs students at double the district rate. As we have built our schools, I have been guided by, anchored in an...


Mother's Day 2020
Zen’s relationship to mothers has always seemed a bit strange. Mother’s Day, 2020 is also the twenty-fifth anniversary of Maezumi Roshi’s...


Zen Budgeting Through the COVID-19 Pandemic
No one likes budget cuts. They are always painful. This was shaping up to be our most painful budget. Business people say when they are...


The Zen of Budgeting
Coming Soon, a case study in Zen Budgeting: Budgeting through the Covid-19 Pandemic. I am too grandmotherly. The Gateless Gate is the...


Oh, Richard
At a Zen funeral, we talk directly to the person who has left us. Oh, Richard, thinking of you, I smile. We had so much more to do. So...
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Oh, Dirk.
In Zen funerals, we talk directly to the departed. I am at a loss for words. I am hoping that words will come. I am picturing you....

Ken Byalin
Oct 6, 20213 min read


Bringing to the Societal Table Those Who Have Been Excluded
This has been the expression of my vow since I found the words in Bernie’s Instructions to the Cook. “Bringing to the societal table...

Ken Byalin
Sep 22, 20215 min read


Visionary Leadership
This has to be the Zen practice. I love the story of the Golden City which the Buddha tells in the Lotus Sutra. It has inspired me. It is...

Ken Byalin
Sep 8, 20214 min read


Magic
Catching the magic is sometimes not so easy. Stumbling into the magic of success is not something to be taken for granted. It has always...

Ken Byalin
Jun 1, 20214 min read


What is Social Action?
The selflessness of social action is not self-neglect just as self-care is not self-neglect. There are four phrases that come to mind,...

Ken Byalin
May 18, 20215 min read


No.
What is my “No!” When do I shout it? Do I really shout? “No!” Jesse and Theresa Peterford first met at ICS. Theresa, star teacher, chief...

Ken Byalin
Apr 20, 20213 min read


Infinite Onion
Delusions are inexhaustible, I vow to transform them. When I was doing koan practice with Jishu, very briefly in the last year of her...

Ken Byalin
Apr 5, 20214 min read


Infinite Circle
We were serving special needs students at double the district rate. As we have built our schools, I have been guided by, anchored in an...

Ken Byalin
Mar 23, 20217 min read


Mother's Day 2020
Zen’s relationship to mothers has always seemed a bit strange. Mother’s Day, 2020 is also the twenty-fifth anniversary of Maezumi Roshi’s...

Ken Byalin
May 26, 20205 min read


Zen Budgeting Through the COVID-19 Pandemic
No one likes budget cuts. They are always painful. This was shaping up to be our most painful budget. Business people say when they are...

Ken Byalin
May 6, 20205 min read


The Zen of Budgeting
Coming Soon, a case study in Zen Budgeting: Budgeting through the Covid-19 Pandemic. I am too grandmotherly. The Gateless Gate is the...

Ken Byalin
May 3, 20204 min read


Oh, Richard
At a Zen funeral, we talk directly to the person who has left us. Oh, Richard, thinking of you, I smile. We had so much more to do. So...

Ken Byalin
Apr 27, 20203 min read


Twenty Years
Today, in the midst of the COVID-19 crisis, our schools are flourishing. Master Sekito said, “How will you step forward from the top of a...

Ken Byalin
Apr 20, 20208 min read


Riding the Wave: Virus Denial
I smile, and then go back to riding my waves of anxiety. Ed and Orly Wiseman recently made a film about our counseling program and how we...

Ken Byalin
Apr 6, 20205 min read


Diversity
Diversity increases the richness of a learning environment for students. Value diversity. This is not an act of tolerance- valuing...

Ken Byalin
Feb 3, 20204 min read


Words Fail: Tactics
The pressure is intensifying on charters in New York State to justify our existence. Nothing is permanent, everything changes. No...

Ken Byalin
Jan 17, 20204 min read


Words Fail: Strategy
In the event of failure, we will need to consider if the fault lies in the school location rather than the basic design. Maybe an...

Ken Byalin
Dec 10, 20194 min read


Words Fail: Mission
Ultimately, words always fail. Nothing stays the same. Nothing is forever. Everything changes. One Zen Truth. Another truth? Words are...

Ken Byalin
Dec 3, 20194 min read


Motivation
Several years ago, becoming wary that a national teacher shortage was looming, we recognized that our own staff could be our greatest...

Ken Byalin
Oct 28, 20194 min read


Delegation
Delegation is perhaps the hardest and most important task for rising leaders to learn. "There are STILL too many meetings. “I’m still not...

Ken Byalin
Oct 2, 20194 min read
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