Rediscovering Zen

One of my great joys in growing older has been the joy of rediscovery. Sometimes it’s the joy of a song I haven’t heard in years, singing forgotten words with Dee on a road trip. Sometimes, it’s coming back to novel I haven’t opened in years and finding that I don’t remember it at all. I’m reading it for the first time. Sometimes, it’s studying some piece of Zen with students and realizing how much I’d missed on previous visits.

The rediscovery of the Gatha of Atonement has been a frolic, one more rediscovery in an unfolding series which began as we dove into the Ten Grave Precepts, which have always seemed so like the Ten Commandments. That led to my first look in years at the Day of Reflection ceremony, the ceremony of recommitment to the precepts. Immediately, I’m face to face with the Gatha of Atonement which frames and anchors the ceremony. Of course, I remember the Gatha. If it had a tune, I could sing it out loud in the car, but it is also like a forgotten novel. I find myself plunged into an amazing process of questioning and reflection. I am excited to share what I am rediscovering – or discovering for the first time, to make a start, at least, at sharing what’s arising. The process is taking me places I did not expect to go. I’ll begin sharing today, but I won’t finish today.

The Gatha was never really mine. It was words received and repeated, chanted so many times. I came to Zen practice in search of inner peace. I figured that when the Buddha talked about “cessation of suffering,” he was talking about my inner peace. When my teacher, Bernie Glassman talked about being one with all the ingredients of my life, he was also pointing to inner peace.

What I remember about the Gatha of Atonement is what Bernie said about it. He brought my attention to the literal meaning of atonement – to be at one with – and shifted me away from repentance and making amends. Atonement was the practice of healing, of becoming whole. I share his insight frequently, always on Yom Kippur.  I just haven’t been looking at the rest of the Gatha until now, perhaps because, for twenty-five years, the liturgy has not been an important part of my practice. Now, looking at the Gatha, at the last line, “Now I atone for it all,” I am wondering why we never changed it to reflect Bernie’s insight. Why not, “Now I am at one with it all”?

I want to change the wording, and I want to bring the Day of Reflection back into our practice. I’m sure of it. But how? What happens to the rest of the Gatha if we change the last line? What happens to the rest of the Day of Reflection ceremony if we change the Gatha?

This is exciting. What a frolic. What a joy that I have the space in my life to take this plunge. We’ll pick up this thread again. Next week, we’ll take a look at the first line of the Gatha.